When the daylight's gone and you're on your own and you need a friend... Just to be around I'll comfort you, I will take your hand And I'll pull you throughtootZ designs





[who am i]
name:
jessica c.


aka:
an9el
jmarierabbit
puddlesheartburn


bday:
march 24, 197x


residence:
diego baby


education:
CSUSM - senior..finally



work:
target


hobby:
channel surfing


addicted to:
friendster.com
yahoo games
addictinggames.com


Da Oobers:
"Boober" Jessica Canonizado
"Goober" Rosemarie Relente
"Coober" Allison Bersamira
"Joober" Jane Pearl Jacinto
"Poober" Pamela Orbita


stalkers:
clare bagalso
teresa szeto


my dreams and reality:
jermiah cruz



[navigate] .:website:.
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[archives] 2002 may june july august september october november december
2003 january february march april may june july august september october november december
2004 january february march april may june july august september october november



[affliates] rosemarie maricel teresa diana allison trish pam jessica rhona glenda quinn annie cathy christine jahckie wa katie randy nimitz nik vinnie chris h jermiah gerard john shea paul carl jeff caz chris l apsa

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Nothings gonna change my love for you)
by Glenn Medieros





Wednesday, December 29, 2004

im not sure how many ppl actually read my blog but its a lil difficult to post on both xanga and blogger. so for now im just gonna be on xanga. so if you are interested in reading whats going on in mine and aja's lives then check out my xanga.

http://www.xanga.com/jmarierabbit

til our paths meet once more




Angel remembered at 11:02:00 AM

Sunday, December 19, 2004

wow its been a long time since i've blogged. and a lot has happened too. shall we begin? ..thats rhetorical.

jac...on the 9th i got an early ass phone call...330am-ish..from evil telling me that jac's car was just stolen from their condo and i could hear jac crying in the background. WTF?? its weird too. cause once jac calmed down and called me back she told me the story. they were on the patio smoking when they heard a screeching sound..the sound of a car being hotwired..and they were like WTF? so then they slowly saw a car coming around the corner. and so to be nosy, jac stood up. things didnt click for her while she saw the car. she didnt notice the color or the make. but as it drove away the license plate caught her eye and she arbitrarily decided to read the plate outloud. 3GHP885...WTF THAT'S MY LICENSE PLATE!! so her and evil ran outside and sure enough the car was done. evil even jumped in his car to try to chase them down but no luck. so after they called me to tell me, i passed the info along to mom who did the same to dad. so dad was up at like 4am changing garage opener codes since jac's opener was still in her car with our address on the registration. one good thing about it was that dad realized that there was a bolt missing from my garage door opener so at 4 something in the morning he's pounding away trying to fix my garage. heh. so yeah, its been over a week and still no car. but her and dad have been searching the net for beemers. so we'll see. it sucks though cause..cause of jac's car accident in my car years ago, her insurance was too high. so we had to cut down her insurance on her car. which means that it was just basic insurance..no theft insurance. so whatever car jac gets, we have to come up with all of it. no insurance money to help. sucky. so yeah if you happen to see a burgandy honda accord with that license plate and 2 stickers on the back windshield ( a white tiger on a yin yang sign on top and a hot topic fairy on the bottom) let me know.

so i was suppose to get my stitches out on friday the 10th. but i got a call on the 9th, at night, asking me to reschedule til monday. ok, fine with me. 3 weeks has gone by whats another couple of days right?!? so monday comes and dad takes me to the drs at 830am. grr had to get up early for this appt. anyways. so the nurse asks me who did my surgery and i tell her dr trifunivic and she looks at me weird. she asked why was seeing hannig to take the stitches out then. so i explain that they said that since i was through planned parenthood that hannig would remove the stitches. thats when she proceeds to tell me that trifunivic uses dissolvable stitches, contrary to hannig using sutures that need to be removed. so she checks out my incision to make sure and sure enough they are dissolvable. wth? so to make my going their not a total waste, she removed the knot at the end that had been sticking out since my surgery. it was the only part of my stitches that i felt the whole time. ok, whatever. the staff kept asking about aja cause i didnt bring her, so i had to promise to take her to my post partem appt on the 30th. which i will.

on the 12th, we took aja to children's hospital clinic at night cause she was screaming uncontrollably for several hours and it sounded like something was hurting her the whole time. and she kept pulling on her right ear, so we thought maybe she had an ear infection. so dad and i headed to escondido to take her the clinic. sure enough, there was barely anyone in the clinic like the nurse that told us about the clinic said. there was just one little girl leaving as we walked in. so we checked in, filled out the paperwork , the minutes later we were being checked by the nurse and the dr. turned out she is just really colic-y (full of gas). the dr saw her react at one point and said she may have acid reflux..just like her auntie jac..dang their list of similiarities keeps growing. if she didnt look like me i would have sworn she was jac's kid. heh. but from the time we checked in to the time we left was only like 40 minutes. that is a hell of a lot better than the 5 hours we spent in the emergency room at palomar hospital last time.

aja is still growing. her cheeks are so big. i just keep pinching them. its from the formula though. she's getting chunky. yet she still is too small for her preemie clothes, even though she isnt a preemie.

she's been going out lately. jer and i have been taking out shopping with us. we went to north county fair one day and plaza bonita another. of course she was a star both times. i totally forgot how ppl can get around babies. we had ppl stopping us to see her and constantly making comments about how tiny she is. its cool though.

then yesterday we went to valley center for sofia's 5th bday party. pete and armida rented ponies for the kids to ride. so we had dad sit on the pony and pose with aja. dang this girl just turned a month today and she's already been on a pony. hehe. it was cool though cause sofia wanted to take care of aja. she held her, fed her twice, even got upset the 2nd time cause jac started to feed aja without her. hehe. the weird thing is that supposedly sofia doesn't like babies. yet she was willing to give up her chance to hit her own pinata to continue feeding aja. she told us to find her a substitute to hit the pinata in her place. hehe it was cute though.

jordan lee cruz...on the 15th at 2:58pm princess gave birth. she ended up having jordan naturally even though she was on the OR table already prepped for a c-section. hehe go figure. so on friday after shopping at plaza jer and i took aja to see princess and jordan. princess hadnt seen aja yet cause of her pregnancy too. so we got to meet our new niece and nephew at the same time. he's cute. he's bigger than aja though. he was 7lbs 2oz and 20 inches compared to aja's 6lbs 8oz and 17inches.

christmas...well its less than a week away. still got some shopping to do. have no idea what to get aja though. i mean everyone is gonna be showering her with clothes and what not. kinda want mine to be special. ya know? jer got me my gift though. got a cool gift from a cool boyfriend =) we found the k-swiss shoes that i've been searching for almost the entire time jer and i have been together. and we are gonna be celebrating 8 months on the 27th...can you believe it? that much time has passed us by already. so yeah i'm a happy camper =D

well i can't think of much else to highlight. check out aja's website often since we are constantly taking pictures of her. hehe.

hope everyone has a good and safe christmas and holiday!!!

til we meet again





Angel remembered at 1:30:00 PM

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

wow its been awhile since i last blogged.

well still under house arrest. can't drive yet. stitches are still in and won't be coming out til this friday. still hurting though. i'm swollen and what not. but i guess that comes with major surgery. eh..

aja went back to the drs for the follow up to her hepatitis b shot. it was ok. but the dr found some extra movement in her hip. so shes sending out a referral to children's hospital to have a specialist check her out and make sure her joints and bones are growing correctly. its not something i wanted to hear but until they tell me there is something really wrong with her, i'm not gonna worry too much about it. i mean she constantly moves her legs around and what not.
i still can't believe she's here. i mean i see her but yet it doesn't always register that she is mine. heh sometimes i forget that she's around. there are times she's in her crib or on my bed, but she's quiet, so i kinda forget about her til she starts to cry or make a noise. oops. heh. but her features are changing already. her cheeks are getting bigger. you just want to pinch them. heh. she makes the cutest faces and sounds though. and now we have her hands out of her gloves so she does a lot of hand gestures and stuff with her fingers. she can do hangloose and i love you signs. she kinda almost does the west coast w though. yeah my daughter is hardcore. hahahah.

actually went out for a brief time without aja. mom, jer and i went to kmart on friday night. heh jer got to see our shopping style...put what you want in the basket as we go along. hahahah. of course by the end the basket was full of stuff for aja. heh. after going to kmart mom and i went to staples to get paper for the birth announcements and thank yous from the baby shower and caligraphy pens for dad so he can write in the baby books we got for aja. then back home we go. it was a nice outting. eheh.

other than that ive just been chilling at home. got a brief outting again yesterday with jer. of course it was so i can go to the bank and deposit money dad gave me so i can pay bills. our first real outting will be on friday. after my drs appt jer and i are gonna take aja shopping at north county faire so i can do some xmas shopping. should be interesting. hehe. wish us luck. heh.

feel free to email me, im me, myspace me...basically entertain me while im under house arrest. heh.

til we meet again

oh yeah...aja's website




Angel remembered at 6:03:00 PM

Friday, November 26, 2004

pictures of my Aja's first few days


Angel remembered at 1:02:00 PM

greetings and salutations. as you can tell a lot has happened since my last entry. so shall we begin? too bad we are going to anyways. hah.

LABOR
wednesday morning i woke up around 9am with really bad contractions. they were about a minute long and happening like clockwork every 5 minutes or so. it was soooooooo uncomfortable. but i just kept it to myself. i started to keep track of them but just stayed in my room and beared with them. so then jer comes over like he normally does around 115pm. and i tell him about it. so he watches me as i go through this. so then around 2pm i get hungry and we work our way downstairs to get food. i stop off in my mom's room on our way and give her the list of all the contractions. she asks what is it and i tell her then i leave. she was on the phone at the same time. so we go downstairs. so i'm getting some cereal when my mom comes downstairs with the tablet. she tells my dad thats she's gonna take a shower and for my dad to call auntie ellen. my dad asks why. i'm still just getting my food. my mom says that i've been in labor since 9am. WTF?? i have? oh.. heh. oops. so my mom takes a shower. dad tries to call auntie ellen and jer and i finish eating. then we make sure i'm all packed up. poor jermiah. he didn't know what to do with himself. he was going crazy. i called krysten, the np from planned parenthood, and see what she thinks we should do cause auntie ellen hadn't answered our page. she said to go ahead and go to the hospital. they will check me out and see what needs to be done. ok by me. so we start calling some ppl and give them a heads up. so then jer goes home. i get into the beemer and go with dad to the hospital and mom and jac and jay are to follow shortly after. so dad and i get to the hospital and head upstairs. as we are walking towards the maternity ward dad's phone rings. its mom. jac got a flat on the way there. hah. luckily jay was with them to change the tire. so i sign papers and get put in an exam room. they check me out and i'm still only dialated to 1cm. sheesh. but i am having labor pains/contractions. they keep me monitored for a couple of hours. mom, jac, jay, evil and pat arrive. they called pat and evil and told them i was at the hospital and they came to check me out. they even beat jac and them to the hospital. and they were called after they fixed the tire and were near the hospital. they stopped off for gas and stuff and evil and pat beat them. heh. auntie ellen was checking in on me from the time i arrived to. since nothing was happening as of yet she went home. we told her we'd call her if anything happened. the monitors that were in the exam room were being retarded so they moved me to a room that actually had the monitors working. then after a couple of hours the midwife came around and checked me out. still hadn't dialated. she could feel the baby's head but it still seemed high, like dr hannig had said last week. but its still too early to decide anything she said. and i wasn't dialate far enough to admit me. so they gave me a shot of morphin to help with the pains. ouch..why didn't anyone tell me that morphin burns when its injected. oh man. so after that mom, dad and i went to eat at olive garden. esp since i hadn't eaten anything except the cereal. i didn't eat fettucine alfredo. can you believe it? hehe. i didnt want anything too heavy cause i was getting drowsy from the morphin and tired just from everything that had happened. so i ordered the stuffed chicken marsala. it was good. so then we came home. oh man..i had an exorcist episode. all of sudden i felt like i had to throw up. then i kinda did in my mouth..as i headed to the bathroom i just shot it all out. i had projectile and everything. the amount of food i ate and the morphin didn't mix well. man i got it all over the bathroom and in the toilet..and i only had 4 spouts of it. my poor mom had to clean it up for me. even she made the reference to the exorcist. after awhile of relaxing and chatting i went to bed.

thursday was a little better. i was still having contractions but they weren't as close together. so obviously my labor is continuing. i had a drs appt at 1145am. so mom took me cause i was in no condition to drive. so we went. my weight stayed the same. hah. krysten checked me out and i was dialated to almost 2cm nows. good grief. i still got 8 cms to go. so she told me what to look out for. so on our way home from the drs we stopped by kfc. had a weird contraction there though. i had 1 where it only affected my back, not my front at all. but that was the only one. who knows. so we took it home and mom, jay, jer and i ate. jac came home from watching lolo but she wasn't hungry and dad came home from grandpa domil's funeral but he ate at the reception. the contractions continued. i ate dinner around 6pm. and about 830pm the contractions kinda got harder. so my mom called cheryl and let her know. cheryl was at pechanga with her family and what not. so she came down around 11pm. so cousin monitored my contractions for me, since i had been using jer and jane to tell me how long they were happening during our chat and they went to bed. so then around midnight we decided to head to the hospital. the pains were getting worse. and it was hurting my back and body. i rode with dad and mom and cousin rode in cousin's car. so dad and i went to the emergency room so we can get a wheelchair. so as dad rolled me to the 4th floor i was dying. i actually had some tears form this time. so they put me in an exam room. the nurse checked me out. the monitors were showing major contractions. they got the on call midwife to check me out. i had progressed to 2cm. almost 3 cms. she could feel the baby's head but it still was too high. so they went ahead and admitted me. man i was dying. the contractions were so hard. and it was killing my lower back like no other. so the 4 of us were in the room. i was admitted around 2am and put into the room. the next couple of hours were hell. i was hurting constantly. and it was affecting my sciatic nerve. so i was hurting not only in front, in my lower back but my right leg was tightening and cramping up too. then around 5am i started getting contractions that felt like i was being stabbed. then around 545am the nurse came in and said that i was being taken in for a c-section. that the dr decided to go ahead and go through with it. while they were prepping me they checked to see how far i was dialated and i was only at 3cm. so for 45 hrs i was in labor but only dialated to 3cm. WTF?!!?!! so then the calls started as the nurse started to get me ready for the OR. dad, mom and cousin were all on the phone. they called auntie ellen and let her know and she said she was on her way in. so the nurse finished putting in my IV. it was in my wrist. that was something i wasn't expecting. cousin let my mom go into the OR with me since i'm allowed one person in there with me. so my mom started to get ready and put on the scrubs. you could tell everyone was getting excited. i was excited but at the same time i was like..hurry up and take this kid out of me. just as they were gonna take me out towards the OR nikki showed up. so she got to see me before i delivered.

Delivery
so around 615am i'm rolled into the OR. at first i'm introduced to the nurses who will be involved with the surgery. then i meet the anestesiologist (sp?). he was amusing. so after signing my life away i'm taken into the actual room. so they get me ready for the epidural. if you dont know what exactly it is, its the anesthesia that is shot into your spine with big needles. unfortunately i'm still contracting really hard. but the nurses were cool. they helped me handle the contractions and get my back ready for the epidural even though they were happening simultaneously. unfortunately one of the shots didn't take well. so they had to give it to me again. so instead of 2 shots i had 3. ANG SAKIT!! so then it starts kickin in. that was odd. imagine feeling your body from your chest bone downwards all go numb. you feel the pins and needles effect all through your body and arms and legs. then they put the oxygen mask on me. that was not good. i was soooo tired and whatnot and with the numbing sensation going through my body i started to get really sleepy. they had to keep telling my to open my eyes cause i kept closing them. then my mom was brought in by auntie ellen. auntie ellen got permission to come in on her day off to deliver aja. that was cool. so she was helping them prep me up and what not. then i felt the surgeon moving my body. they had told me that they were putting the iodine and what not. so the whole time i thought thats what i thought they were doing. the next thing i knew i heard her cry and them say its a girl. my mom was all "its really a girl" heh. everything happened so quickly. my mom and auntie ellen were taking pictures for me during the delivery since i'm kinda sedated and my view is blocked by a sheet that they put up. the dr called her time of birth at 6:40am. my mom said "oh she was born at 6:38am" pointing at me. the dr jokingly says "sorry i tried to hurry as fast as i could" hehe. i had a cool staff for my surgery. so then the nurses kinda cleaned up aja while the drs cleaned me up and sewed me back together..gee i feel like humpty dumpty. then they brought her over to me so i could at least see her. being that i was in surgery they had tied my arms down so i couldn't touch her. i vaguely remember looking at her. if you had asked me right after that what she looked like i wouldn't have been able to tell you. so they took my mom and aja to the nursery for all the weighing and what not. then i was taken to recovery. oh man that sucked. i'm not one for being alone, let alone with little noise around. i was the only patient in recovery for like the first hour or so. i was in the recovery for 2 hours. that was odd too. i thought i was moving my feet. like i could feel my feet move but when i looked, it wasn't moving at all. and i'm sure ya'll know how it feels when your foot starts to wake up after falling asleep. thats how i felt over my entire body. so then finally they transported me to my room. when i got to the doors to get into the pediatrics unit, there were too many births at the same time as mine that they ran out of room in the maternity ward, i saw my dad open the doors then i saw uncle mon then jermiah. then they took me into the room and got me situated. then my mom brought me aja for the first time. i was finally able to hold her almost 3 hours after her birth. auntie marie and auntie lina were there too. so of course with jermiah with my camera and uncle mon with his i had flashes going off around me from the time i was in the hallway being brought towards the room and when i got to hold her for the first time. just after they got me situated with aja armida walked into the room. on her way to work she stopped by real quick just to see us. so then armida, uncle mon, auntie marie, and auntie lina went to work. mom and dad went home to get some sleep and jermiah stayed with me and aja for a couple of hours.

the hospital stay
around 2ish cousin returned after getting some sleep after being with me during the night and the labor. she also had babysitting duty. cause i had a c-section i couldn't do much for myself. so i had to have someone with me at all time. so cousin agreed to have first duty. hehe. so she was there and jermiah left. dad also came back for awhile. later jermiah came back for a bit and april showed up. so then jer and april left. i could barely move. i had some pains but i was still under the epidural too. oh man that night was AAAUUGGGHH!!! i'm a new mom, cousin isn't a mom and we had to go through the first night with a newborn alone. it was chaos. we couldn't get aja to really sleep. she was killing my boobs when she ate cause that girl has REALLLLLLYYY good sucking reflexes. cousin was tired, i hadn't slept since wednesday night so we were both really fatigued. i kept dozing off during the feedings or just holding her. after awhile cousin took her from me cause i was getting frustrated. so cousin tried to let me sleep and only wake me up when aja needed to be feeded. but i couldn't sleep cause i was in a sitting type position. so not the fun the night.

the next day dad came early and relieved cousin. so dad stayed with me. around 8am one of the surgeons and auntie ellen came by to see me. auntie was checking in on us before she went into work. the surgeon removed my bandage on my stitches. she said it looked good. in a bit i would have the cathader (sp??) removed then i would have to get up and walk around some today. and then get real food. i hadn't eaten since thursday at 6pm. and now its saturday around 8am. then later my nurse came in and removed the cathater and gave me some apple juice to hold me over. yayee!! well lunch time came and they kinda forgot about me. so my dad went to the cafeteria and got me some meat loaf and mashed potatoes. it was good. while i was eating nikki and inang came to visit. while they were there cristen and larry came by. then cousin, corey, corey jr and cody came to visit too. so i had a full room. heh. when nikki and inang went to leave for some reason inang called aja "kristina". wth? then when i said no she called her "aja marie" again no. sheesh. so then cristen and larry left also. then jac came. she had afternoon duty with me. then cousin and the guys left. so then they brought me my dinner. guess what it was...meat loaf and mashed potatoes. hahaha. then mom came for night duty. i got to take a shower. yayee!! that felt so good. hadn't showered since thursday around 10am. but i couldn't cause of the surgery and what not. grace and rodney came by to visit too. tonight was a lot easier. esp since my mom has had 2 kids of her own. also aja was a lot calmer than last night. we did realize she loves to sleep on top of a pillow. and she really loves her pacifier that cousin got last night from the nurses. i was able to kinda sleep for the first time for a couple of hours straight.

mom was really tired. so she called dad to come and relieve her. dad arrived around 8am. i was in the middle of eating my breakfast: eggs, french toast, bagel, and rice krispies that i ended up just taking home with me. the surgeon came in again and checked me out and said that i could probably go home tomorrow. i said "tomorrow?" she asked me if i wanted to go home today and of course i said yes. so she said ok. she said i should be discharged around 11am then. yayee!!! since that was in a couple of hours my mom just stayed. my dad kept an eye on aja while my mom and i took naps. then i got up and took a shower. the pediatrician came and took a final look at aja. then we changed her into her clothes to go home. after everything was said and done and all the paperwork was done with we left the hospital around 1230pm.

the week so far....
before we went home home we stopped by lolo's so he can see her since he couldn't go the hospital. when we got there uncle rolly and mellvin were there too. so we showed lolo aja and he got all excited. he kept smiling and patting her hand. then we told him to get up so we can take a picture and he shot up so he can hold her. hah. go lolo. auntie marie and uncle mon came over to pick up inang for uncle santy's party so they were playing with aja too. so after all the pictures were taken we came home. its so nice to be home.when we got home nikki was waiting here for us. later that night jermiah came over. then annie and cuong came to see aja for the first time. that night was hell though. i guess i moved around too much when i got home. in the middle of the night...luckily i had aja in the bed with me....but she started to cry and when i moved to tend to her my entire body tensed up. i couldn't move. so the both of us were crying and screaming. i was calling for my mom. but i had mistakenly closed my door so my screams were muffled. eventually my mom heard and came over and saw what had happened. so she took aja to calm her down while my dad helped me move and sit up. that was hell.

the next day nana and tata came over to visit. their first great-grandchild. nana is finally "big nana". so she's aja's "little big nana"hah. on tuesday teresa and clare came over to visit. unfortunately as they were leaving we all when into hectic mode. suddenly aja spit up blood. so we had to take her to the emergency room at palomar. that was freaky. but after about 5 hours of being there, it was diagnosed that she may have just swallowed my blood while in the womb and when she was ready she spit it up. its a common thing..but not that common. there are about 12 cases a year or so that they see of this happening. sheesh girl give us a heart attack. then on wednesday christa and rj came to visit too. that night was freaky too.again aja spit up blood. but it was real quick. and it was right after feeding her. so we checked me and sure enough i had blood. she sucked me so hard that she was causing me to bleed and we didn't know it. then later while i was pumping my milk i started to bleed again. so we are now gonna only pump my milk for her. she's no longer gonna feed of me directly. and just in case we've also put her on formula. luckily the hospital had given us a free can of formula. so she's gonna be on both from now on. then while we were sleeping out of no where i woke up freezing. i woke up shivering and my teeth chattering. and i was completely covered in pjs and sweats and under my blankets. my parents had to come and try to warm me up cause i was soo cold. i felt like i was lying in ice. no explanantion. geez.

drs appt
aja had her first drs appt. everything is good. she apparently grew 2 inches. so now she's 19 inches long. when we were discharged she had lost 7oz from her birth weight of 6lbs 8oz. but she gained 4oz back. so thats good. they gave her a hepatitis b shot though. she was cranky the rest of the day. poor baby.

thanksgiving
well yesterday we celebrated her first thanksgiving. we had both sides of the family here. so of course my daughter was passed around like a hot potato. it was the first time just about everyone got to see her. so everyone was going ga ga over her. and she slept through most of it. but when she did wake up we let everyone see her big eyes. there was a texas holdem tourney in the garage. it lasted like 4 hours. finally it was just split up btwn john, uncle rolly and nikki. they all got too tired of playing. sheesh. but overall it was a good thanksgiving.

its weird. i still can't believe she's here and that she's mine. i mean for the last 9 months she was just an idea or something pending. and now she's here and in existance. she's still very tiny. she's so small yet she couldn't fit into the birth canal. go figure. but its been an interesting week and i' m sure it will be an interesting journey as she grows and gets older.

til we meet again



Angel remembered at 11:52:00 AM

Sunday, November 21, 2004




Angel remembered at 3:18:00 PM


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